Strangers & Outlaws

Five Objects

2009-10-19T02:30:00.007-04:00

Our lives are filled with objects. Some, we attach very high values too. I can determine the importance of any of my objects based on how close they are to me. These are five things I found on my desk, where I spend most of my time when I'm home.

1. I bought this Swiss Army knife when I went away to summer camp. I had a nasty habit of losing things. And a boy can't go away to summer camp without a proper knife. I knew this then, but because I was constantly losing things, my parents wouldn't spring for one. I bought this one with my personal savings at age 11. I still have it today. Though my trusty Laguiole is my pen knife these days, my Swiss Army knife will always be a dependable sidekick.

2. My first smart phone. My BlackBerry Pearl, or as I affectionately refer to it, "The BlueBerry." Lately, I've come to realize what a piece of shit this thing is. The Web browsing capability leaves something to be desired. The keyboard is really difficult to use one-handed. It tends to freeze up. The list goes on... But the thing's gotten me out of more than a few jams when I've needed a quick Google search in a pinch. I'll never leave home without it.

3. Hunter S. Thompson is one of the big reasons I decided to pursue journalism. Little did I know when I departed on this half-baked expedition, that journalism is not nearly as cool as he portrayed it. At least not straight journalism. Now Gonzo, that's where it's really at. I'm just waiting for the right moment to dive headlong toward the edge, make the old man proud. This is one of his books that I'm currently reading. It really goes to show how the American Dream is totally fucked. It was terrible that a guy like Richard Nixon was elected twice. But what's worse is that the country didn't learn. Since then, we've elected a long list of indiscernible, unscrupulous scum-suckers. With Hunter gone, someone needs to chronicle the atrocities and reckless abandonment of power. And if someone doesn't step up soon, it just might have to be me.

4. My iPod Nano. It's a necessary evil. I have stacks of CDs surrounding me as I write this. And a stack of LPs leaning up against a large tower of DVDs. But having it all at your fingertips, anywhere you go, well, that just can't be beat. To kill the boredom on the way to work, I've been listening to each of my albums from start to finish, then posting micro-reviews on Twitter. I just made it to the Bs. Check my twitter page if this interests you.

5. Maybe the most important thing I own. My compass. I own a bunch, but I've come to favor this one. I bought it before my trip to Maine last year. I don't have any tattoos, but if I did get one, it would be of a compass. I'm obsessed with knowing where I'm going. Nothing discomforts me more than being lost or not having a sense of direction, both literal or metaphorical. I can find my bearings with this, and if I can't find my mental bearings, it serves as a reminder that they're out there somewhere. I just need to keep looking.

Soundtrack to a Novella.

2009-09-22T18:19:00.007-04:00

Early on in the process of writing "Further Ahead," Christopher Klim directed me toward a useful writing strategy. He told me that while I was writing, I should listen to music that encapsulated the mood of each passage. I immediately recognized the value of this approach.

I have a highly associative memory and thought process (as I think most people do). I associate different books and records with different aspects of my life, or different parts of history. I'm also an amateur musician. A simple chord progression or melody is enough to make me feel something. Add lyrics into the milieu and I could be made to feel anything through a song.

"Further Ahead" deals with the aftermath of Sept. 11. Not only did the day alter the course of American history, it affected the progression of American art and music. On the cusp of this catastrophe is the first record I heavily relied on throughout the duration of the writing process.

Wilco -- Yankee Hotel Foxtrot: On a personal level, this record marks some sort of personal departure. With lines like, "Tall buildings shake, voices escape singing sad, sad songs. ..." you can't help but feel the allusion to national disaster, a national wound. While I wrote chapter one, during which my protagonist, Pat Hensley, takes an ill-fated journey to New York, taking the PATH train through Ground Zero, Jeff Tweedy's words echoed through my head on repeat.

The use of the second record on the list is slightly more contradictory.

George Harrison -- All Things Must Pass: When Patrick has his most materialistic moments, this record is playing in the background, literally. Not only did I listen to this record while writing a few chapters, I wrote it into the book. In terms of record titles, I don't think there is one that rings truer than this. And it is an important reminder. Even in the face of national tragedy, all things must past: "Sunrise doesn't last all morning. A cloudburst doesn't last all day. ..." It's an important message that Patrick -- ever the avoider -- chooses to overlook. He lets the worst parts of his personal life, and greater American life, consume him.

On a personal level, George Harrison struck me as the mysterious Beatle. He kept to himself, and was largely left out of the McCartney-Lennon song-writing equation. But when he finally struck out on his own, he produced a stunning body of music. For someone trying to write their first serious piece of fiction, this record was inspirational.

Bob Dylan & The Band -- The Basement Tapes: If I could sum up the feeling of "Further Ahead" in one song, it would be "Tears of Rage" from this record: "We carried you in our arms, on Independence Day." After reading Greil Marcus' "The Old, Weird America: Bob Dylan's Basement Tapes," I recognized the significance of these strange songs that I'd heard my father's band sing since I was a little boy. Dylan has asserted time and time again that these songs aren't folk songs -- they're political songs, and they're too weird to die. They are the very fiber of American consciousness. These songs are older than the country itself.

Since I was exploring how American identity has changed after Sept. 11, it seemed like a good idea to go to its roots. Dylan and The Band's roots music was essential.

So, if my novella had a soundtrack, this would be it. I'm always on the lookout for good writing music. Feel free to post your suggestions in the comments below. What music do you like to write/work to?

Devotion to the facts.

2009-09-20T00:15:00.004-04:00

One of my biggest concerns as a writer is rooted in my methods. A lot of what I write about is based on life experience. In "Further Ahead," for example, I draw heavily on my experiences as a college student at a public school and my middle-class upbringing. While I think that these elements are identifiable for potential like-minded readers (i.e. middle America), I sometimes feel like it's writer-ly laziness.

After all, a good writer is supposed to have a limitless imagination. He or she should be able to invent numerous characters, personalities, motivating factors, settings, etc. I suppose I could do these things. But I find reality much more interesting.

This is probably the result of my training as journalist. I have had no formal training in realm of creative writing. In fact, I never even made an attempt at writing fiction until college. In terms of my writing style, I think it tends to be very concise and direct -- in a word, journalistic. This results in an at times unintentional devotion to facts in my fiction.

The characters of "Further Ahead" are either people I know or have known, or they're an amalgamation of character traits from people I've observed or known only in passing. One of my biggest fears is that, should this work ever get published in any meaningful sense, these people will recognize themselves (and proceed to sue the shit out of me). Hopefully, one of those "Any likeness of these characters/events to real people/events is pure coincidence" will be enough to keep the wolves at bay.

I can't recall who said it (and I'm paraphrasing), but I believe a writer once said literature is 90 percent fact through a thin veil of fiction.

It's hard to write about people you know and love, or have loved, in an unflattering way. But that is my devotion to reality. And though a writer is supposed to be creative, a writer is also supposed to write what they know. The facts, it seems, come in handy.

The halfway mark.

2009-09-15T12:05:00.004-04:00

Ah yes, dear reader, the halfway mark. It's a scary place to be. And I'm referring to the halfway mark in editing Further Ahead.

Being halfway through anything always scared the hell out of me. You've already put so much work into something, and yet the possibility of failure still looms overhead. Will all the work be for nothing? When I ran cross country in high school, I always worried I'd roll an ankle 1.5 miles into a race.

I guess what I'm getting at is I'm concerned that working so diligently on this draft will be a complete waste of time. I began it almost a year ago, which is crazy to think about. And twenty years of life needed to go by for it to be written, which is even crazier to think about.

I guess that's the risk any writer takes. You want people to care, but you can't make them care.

And if this thing ever does get published, then in retrospect, this post will fall very short of the actual halfway mark. Time will tell.

The Cars are awesome.

2009-09-11T22:54:00.003-04:00

I was going to blog about how terrible my week has been, but that's pretty played. Instead, I'm going to let you all in on a little secret:

The Cars. Are. Awesome.

Over the years, I've been quick to point out that the 1980s was the most culturally inconsequential decade on record. Well, after finally coming to terms with my love of The Cars, I'm starting to reconsider. I submit to you this video as evidence:

Here is a band that clearly doesn't give a shit. They're a lighthearted, poppier version of The Talking Heads. The musicianship is sound -- a decent blend of rock, punk, electronica and definitely a touch of rockabilly. There's definitely some sophistication here -- and I'm not talking about the intricacy of their perms.

But over the top of any real talent is a high-gloss finish. It screams, "We're in this to sell records. We don't give a shit. What of it?"

What of it indeed. The Cars are awesome.

How they managed to keep the sand out.

2009-09-04T16:19:00.002-04:00

I'm back from a brief blogging hiatus. I spent last Monday through Wednesday in Cape May, N.J. on a short vacation. After working hard all summer, it was wonderful to get away, even if it was only for a few days. This vacation was especially gratifying because it was the first I've ever paid for on my own. Money, it seems, was a central theme of this trip.

When I was trying to select a destination, I made sure it was somewhere I'd never been before. New Jersey, for its small size, still remains largely unexplored by me, particularly its Southern reaches. Cape May seemed like a good choice.

I'd heard about Cape May's historic, Victorian exterior. When I arrived, I found out that Henry Hudson had discovered the Cape 400 years ago. I'd also heard about its wealth and opulence. These things didn't cause me any discomfort until I arrived.

I stayed with Kelly at the Star Inn, which is owned by Congress Hall. Based on my limited observations, Congress Hall is the crowned jewel of the Cape May resort establishment. It sprawls like a Southern-Gothic plantation over well-manicured lawns. The Stars and Stripes -- several of them -- bedeck its entrance. It strikes me as the place where the American Dream went into retirement. It seemed to be the tonal epicenter of the place.

While time spent lounging on the beach was certainly relaxing, I couldn't help but feel on edge everywhere I went, particularly in and around Congress Hall (I had to check in here since my Inn was owned by the Hall). It must be something in the way I walk, or the clothes I wear (or the distinct possibility that this is indeed all in my head), but everywhere I went, I felt like I was undergoing constant scrutiny. Like these people saw through me to my bank account. The place smelled of money everywhere I went, and I felt like an unwelcome in-law on their palatial estate.

Interesting enough, my hotel didn't cost that much money. And the places we ate were all affordable. But to stay on the plantation, that must cost a pretty penny. You could see it in the restrained sneers of its guests as I strolled in my shabby attire across their immaculate tile floor, as I drank a Manhattan in one of its multiple lounges.

How they managed to keep the sand out, I'll never know.

The sounds of summer.

2009-08-30T01:19:00.003-04:00

Summer in the North Jersey highlands has its own collection of sites, smells and sounds. Each season has its own set. Summer, by far, has my favorite sounds.

Right now I'm sitting in my family room, where I do most of my writing. The sliding-glass door is open, with the screen door protecting me from the legions of thirsty mosquitoes outside. I have the lights turned down low, and The Band is emanating quietly from the speakers of my stereo.

The intonation of The Band is refined and soothing. There's something in the music that is reminiscent of Old America -- hundreds of thousands of summers past. And outside is North Jersey summer. My favorite set of sounds.

The crickets are all chirping in the trees. The tree frogs croak quietly their unintelligible replies to the crickets. The Band jangles on as I grow tired.

Summer's almost over.

My first trip to Hogwats. At 22.

2009-08-27T23:18:00.003-04:00

Just wrapped up "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone " this morning about 3. I guess I'm 10 years behind on the times. Most of my generation read these books ages ago.

I'd never read any of the Potter series, mostly because I thought I was too cool to read them. I am, in fact, not cool. Not cool at all. So uncool that I can comfortably read Harry Potter at age 22.

What brought me to Potter was watching Brad Neely's "Wizard People, Dear Reader." Having watched Neely's extended riff on Potter (hilarious, by the way), I wanted to see the actual movie as a basis for comparison. The first Potter film was very entertaining, but it was definitely a kid's movie. However, I was shocked and impressed as the writing and characters grew in depth as the series progressed.

Soon, I found myself on Amazon, purchasing a six-book paperback set of the series, and the seventh book in paperback.

I found "Sorcerer's Stone" to be addicting. I couldn't put it down and favored it over the other book I'm reading, Hunter S. Thompson's "Hell's Angels." (I'm all about juxtaposition.) There were definitely a few moments when I put the book down and marveled with surprised delight at the depth of the story. J.K. Rowling definitely raised the bar for children's fiction by writing Potter.

It was obvious, however, that this was her first book. Her main weakness is in the dialogue. This made me feel a lot better about my writing, considering this is also my main weakness (see yesterday's post). Her dialogue is well-rounded, and the characters each have a distinctive voice. My main gripe is with her use of adverbs coupled with the dialogue and needless repetition of speaking verbs.

This, however, is typical of children's lit. And I'm just looking for things to nitpick about since I'm still insecure about reading children's fiction.

Either way, I'm looking forward to reading the next book. I've been told that Rowling's characters and writing develop with age. If the movies are an indicator, I have a lot to look forward to.

Writing dialogue is tough.

2009-08-26T23:28:00.004-04:00

So, I've been editing Further Ahead diligently lately. And today I spent the bulk of my afternoon at a local Starbucks, tidying up chapters three and four. The amount of time I've spent doing revisions has really put me in touch with my strengths and weaknesses as a writer.

My biggest weakness is dialogue. I suck at writing dialogue. When I read the words coming out of my characters' mouths, their voices sound like my own. Maybe the key to writing good dialogue is having multiple personalities. This is something I should really work on.

But in all seriousness, when I was working with Klim, he taught me a lot about dialogue. The key is to get inside the characters' heads. What makes them tick? What are their fears, their desires? After a while, you find yourself driving your car, alone, and having a conversation with one of your characters (in your head, not out loud, psycho). They become that real.

One of the biggest limiting factors of my dialogue is the use of attribution. I suppose it's the habit of a trained journalist. You want to attribute every word that comes out of someone's mouth to cover your ass. Well, this doesn't fly in fiction. Most of the time, through the use of paragraph breaks, it's pretty easy to see who's talking.

"Another tell-tale sign of weak dialogue, for me, is the use of adverbs to modify speaking verbs," Joe said gruffly. Screw the adverb. I need to employ diction to convey tone.

"Another tell-tale sign of my bullshit, weak-sauce, half-assed dialogue is the use of adverbs to modify speaking verbs."

That's more like it.

Anyone have any tips on writing dialogue for me? Let me know in the comments section.

When safety poses a hazard.

2009-08-22T21:06:00.005-04:00

I have what I would characterize as a healthy fear of police. Ordinarily, I go out of my way to be overly cordial to officers because of this fear. But something happened to me last night that struck me as a basic affront to common sense and public safety, done by some of North Jersey's very own boys in blue.

In a valid effort to curb drunken driving, Butler Borough's police department had a DWI checkpoint set up on my route home last night. I applaud their effort. Drunken driving is a public hazard that I find morally reprehensible. I take issue, however, with their judgment.

Crossing into Wayne, Route 23 becomes the main artery for traffic moving north and south through Northern New Jersey. It is a two-lane road in its southernmost stretches, expands to four in Wayne and contracts back to two over the West Milford border. In their infinite wisdom, the Butler Police Department set up a check point on Route 23, choking the thoroughfare down to one lane on a Friday night.

While the quantity of traffic on the highway was diminished at this hour on a Friday, there were still enough drivers on the road to cause a problem.

I arrived at the checkpoint around 12 a.m., which was set up across from the Jeep dealership on the northbound side of the highway, on the crest of a hill. Leading up to the checkpoint is a sharp decline in front of the Ford Nissan dealership before a small bend, then an incline toward the Jeep dealership. The choke point caused a dangerous backup of cars. Coupled with the rain, I wouldn't be surprised if there were motor vehicle accidents at the scene.

I'm all for keeping drunken drivers off the road. It is in the interest of public safety to do so. But the benefit was negated by the risk posed by the checkpoint. It would be in the interest of the public to move these checkpoints off of the highway and onto side roads where they belong.

And besides, Carthago delenda est.

Falling out of touch with all my friends.

2009-08-21T18:46:00.003-04:00

I've always sucked at friendship. By that, I mean I've always been a shitty friend. I blame this on a terrible mix of self-indulgence, time-consuming activities and the need to sleep upward of nine hours each night. As a result, I've lost touch with a lot of good people over the years.

But I've also, quite conveniently, lost touch with a lot of shitty people over the years, which is something I can't really complain about.

But as for the good people, it's tough. A lot of them are people I knew and spent the bulk of my time with in high school. I had lunch with one of these people today.

Our discussion was both interesting and thought-provoking. It covered mostly the inner workings of our fractured circle of friends and recent events in our personal lives -- the usual material one might expect from a reunion with an old friend.

What really jumped out at me was the disparity between our concerns. My friend's were more long-term: Whom will she marry? When will she marry? Will she find someone who is a good match? Will she find a career that suits her?

My primary concern is keeping my job for more than a year, which beyond working hard, there isn't really much I can do. My secondary concern is finishing the editing process on Further Ahead. Other than that, I'd really love to get my book published, but I'm getting way ahead of myself.

I'm also very, very happy in my current relationship, so there really isn't much concern to be felt there. Career wise, I'm also quite content.

Career concerns, especially, don't trouble me. This isn't because I have a job or because I have job security. I think it's more of a generational thing, I explained to my friend.

I think our parents' generation, they let their self-worth and lives be determined by their careers. What you do is who you are. And yes, money has a lot to do with how we live our lives, and the only way to get money is to work. And working with any consistency requires a career. Careers are important, yes. But they're not the be-all-and-end-all of existence.

You have to have a life outside of your career. Mine is behind a keyboard, behind a camera lens, behind a map. I'd love to do some traveling, get married, have some children. My grandparents never made much money, but they were still able to do all of these things. And from what I gather, they are/were both very happy.

I guess, the main reason I'm writing this is to remind my friends of these things. Just because we don't talk doesn't mean I'm not concerned about your personal self-worth and happiness. I feel really positive about our generation. With the economy and job market in shambles, we need to look toward other aspects of life to be happy. I'm finding that they're not so difficult to find.

On a sea of desks.

2009-08-20T23:25:00.004-04:00

Being in a news room at night is a strange feeling. The rest of the world sleeps. The rest of Newark is dark, except for a few boxes of light cast off from The Star-Ledger's gray concrete bulk.

Our newsroom is pretty large -- maybe 80 yards long. Not as big as the Philadelphia Inquirer's massive Ivory Tower of Truth, but still, pretty big. Nothing hammers the size home more than looking out at the sea of empty desks around midnight. As I'm writing this, there are only a handful of editors and paginators left here, burning the midnight oil so people can read their news -- in one form or another -- tomorrow morning.

It's a highly complex monster, a beautiful brute of a system. Somehow, someway, there's always a paper tomorrow morning, always more items in my RSS feed. I guess that's why the old timers call it the Daily Miracle.

It's a reassuring feeling to still be here -- to be with the people who are still here around this time each night. It's a constant reminder that life, at all hours of the day and night, moves around us at a frantic, chaotic pace. And there are a few people who try to make sense of that chaos.

Most nights, I drive home with my windows down, taking in the smoggy, balmy summer air. Soon it will be fall -- my favorite time of year. And on most nights, when I'm exiting 287 onto Route 23 north, I look over the side of the overpass, and I see a Star-Ledger delivery truck rocketing up the interstate toward Mawah, toward Ringwood, toward Paramus.

The only guy in yoga class.

2009-08-19T23:23:00.002-04:00

I do yoga. I'm not one of those self-righteous yoga types who wears only hemp clothing and has a Coexist bumper sticker on my Toyota Prius. But I do yoga, and hell, I enjoy it.

At times, the distinct lack of men in my yoga classes makes me feel like less of a man. But in all honesty, the Hemingway-esque model of masculinity needs some slight revision (I say slight), and I like the way yoga makes me feel. This is all despite the fact that I'm gawked and laughed at by brawnier dudes with diamond earrings and blowout haircuts at my gym.

When I leave class, I've exhausted almost every physical fiber of my being. My body is pulp, and it's a reassuring feeling. It makes me not give a shit about any worldly concerns, at least for a few hours. Aside from giving me a few hours a week during which I can be completely self-indulgent, it also encourages me to relax, helps me manage my stress and improves my posture. Half of the time, I leave my yoga classes feeling sorer than I would had I lifted for an hour.

One of the basic principals of strength training is that the more muscle groups a lift recruits, the more difficult and beneficial the lift is. Nearly every pose I've been put through in yoga engages some portion of your core muscles. A lot of the poses are especially challenging because they task both your muscles and your sense of balance -- forcing you to recruit minor muscle groups that you ordinarily use for stability, muscle groups ordinary lifting doesn't target.

For these reasons, I will always do yoga as long as I am physically able. And as a result, I'll always be in better shape than 90 percent of the guys with blowouts at my gym.

Letting go of ambition.

2009-08-18T18:30:00.005-04:00

In terms of life-altering events, this one is the biggest I've ever experienced. I'm officially a one-year intern at The Star-Ledger. I'm typing this in between building portions of tomorrow's Morris County section. And it all feels pretty damn good. It's wonderful to know that the anxiety of searching for a job, prepping for interviews and picking up dry-cleaning for said interviews will finally come to an end -- at least for another year. The pay increase and health benefits are also major contributors to this new-found sense of well-being.

I'm very happy at The Ledger. My coworkers are amazing. While my job isn't exactly the most thrilling thing to do at a newspaper, it is fun and I do get to flex my creative muscles a bit. I'm hoping to do a little writing on the side for The Ledger as well. It's also kind of cool to make some editorial decisions. But one thing's for sure: I cannot let this be the death of my writing -- both fiction and journalism.

I wonder, sometimes, if this is what getting old is all about. You establish yourself in some sort of career. You find limited success. And then you settle. You settle for something less than you wanted or dreamed for. And this is the first settlement in a lifetime of settling.

One day, you're 40. You have a beautiful wife in a beautiful house with a big backyard. Maybe you have a dog and some kids. You have a little bit of hair. You wake up and drop $50,000 on a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, or $80,000 on a Dodge Viper. You start to play lots of golf. You pay close attention to erectile dysfunction and enlarged prostate medication advertising. Suddenly, you're one of those sad guys wearing a baseball cap, polo shirt, plaid shorts and white socks pulled up to the middle of your calves.

Terrifying. I hope this isn't the first settlement in a history of settling.

But like I said, on the whole, I'm very, very happy here. I'm just not quite ready to let go of my ambitions.

On Motorcycles.

2009-08-15T19:20:00.004-04:00

Outlaws have always fascinated me. I think that's why I enjoy Bob Dylan's music so much. As he's said countless times, he's not a folk singer and his music isn't folk music. His songs are political songs, and they're too old and weird to die. It's the music of an outlaw, about outlaws, for outlaws. Even at 68, the man still remains jarringly suspicious to authority figures.

It's also no wonder he was a fan and rider of motorcycles -- the horse of the modern outlaw.

I've wanted a motorcycle for a while now. I'm really partial to the Triumph Bonneville. Maybe it's that outlaw aura bout motorcycles that attracts me, or maybe it's just my love of driving in general. Either way, reading Hunter S. Thompson's "Hell's Angels" isn't helping. What it is doing for me, however, is breaking up some of the mystique surrounding the motorcycle.

I stopped at a Starbucks on my way into work today. As I parked, I noticed a custom Harley-Davidson in the parking lot. Inside, I discovered the driver was a middle-age man who was reading the New York Times and sipping a latte.

The motorcycle no longer has rebel connotations. But it's still fascinating.

Different ways to read the same article.

2009-08-14T01:18:00.004-04:00

This is a short observation about the newspaper industry. Last week, I read an interesting article in the New York Times' Sunday magazine about the ongoing bankruptcy hearing of Philadelphia Media Holdings. You can read the article here.

I did not, however, read this article in the Sunday Times. I read it online, and moreover, I read it online on Saturday morning. Additionally, I didn't read the article because it popped up in my RSS feed or because someone linked to it on Facebook. Rather, a Philadelphia Inquirer employee that I follow on Twitter tweeted the link, which led me to it.

My grandmother, who is in her 80s, sent me the article in the mail. The envelope is postmarked Aug. 12, 2009. The article is dated Aug. 9, 2009. I read it sometime on Aug. 8, 2009.

Now if only someone could translate the article via smoke signals from a distant hill, I think we may have exhausted all possible means of conveyance.

A world of misguided ambition.

2009-08-13T01:09:00.003-04:00

I'm reading "The Great Gatsby" for what's probably the third or fourth time. To me, Gatsby is the perfect novel. It goes down easy, with it's soft veneer, but beneath the surface lies a world of misguided ambition and rampant wantonness.

That world is America.

I recently watched a documentary on Hunter S. Thompson, also one of my favorite writers. It said Thompson, early in his career, used to type out Gatsby, listening to the music of Fitzgerald's prose. I revisit the novel each summer for the same reason.

While reading Gatsby, I've been listening to Thompson's audio notes, "The Gonzo Tapes," driving to and from work. Thompson understood Fitzgerald. He knew the American dream was warped right from the beginning, but beneath dream itself lurked a rebel instinct that couldn't be extinguished -- even after Vietnam, Watergate and George W. Bush.

Thompson understood that a true patriot lives courageously and speaks boldly. And Gatsby was the first hint at the unseemly side of the dream. I like to think maybe I'm picking up where they left off.

You can't try to be a writer.

2009-08-11T23:32:00.002-04:00

I've never really been one for indecisiveness. But God damn, have these past two days been plagued with it. My situation is an enviable one. But that doesn't mean it isn't without its detriments.

I have a hard time telling people no, especially people I care about. I've learned, mostly from my parents, to bend over backward to keep people happy. I've found myself spread too thin more than a few times as a result.

My latest predicament is choosing between a one-year internship at the Ledger and a full-time job at a local weekly. Coming to some sort of conclusion on the best course of action is tough. It strikes me how my primary concern is not what's best for me, but rather, the fear of hurting the feelings of my current employer and a potential employer.

The fact of the matter is that neither puts me on track to my true desire: to be a writer. My role in both positions would be primarily editorial. This is not to say that I don't enjoy editorial responsibilities, but my heart is truly in writing.

Though I can't have both jobs -- negating the possibility of hurting someone's feelings -- I can work a steady job and write for some extra income. It's just a matter of balancing both. I think I can manage, though it's not really a matter of consideration. I have to manage.

It's who I am. It's in my blood. I was thinking that really, if I make a go of this and fail, I can take comfort in the fact that I tried. But really, trying isn't an option. I just have to do it.

The last paginator.

2009-08-06T00:48:00.003-04:00

My interests have a way of gravitating toward the obscure and antiquated. I suppose it makes sense that my intended profession would, too.

Having spent a summer living the working life of a professional newsman, I've come to realize -- more so than any classroom or internship ever could have shown -- that I've chosen a dying profession. I'm not talking about journalism, specifically. Journalism will never die. The news industry will never die. But my job, pagination, will come close to extinction.

Paginators build the print pages of a newspaper, laying out all of the photo, graphic and text elements. This is no easy job. It requires a long attention span, strong work ethic and a masochistic personality. But print media is a bit worse for the wear lately, mostly due to the Internet. The extent of pagination that will take place during this blog post will be when I press the "publish post" button.

But this makes me appreciate what I do that much more. Pagination is a dying, lost art -- like straight-razor shaves and cobbling. I've learned my trade through a similar system of apprenticeship. For someone who contemplates the past obsessively, it's rewarding to be a part of something so time-honored. I just can't say how long paginators will be around for. Maybe 40 years from now, you'll find me slumped over a keyboard, wearing a green celluloid visor, punching up the last print pages of the last print publication.

Things that make me feel uncomfortable.

2009-08-05T00:09:00.003-04:00

I was in a particularly awkward situation today that made me feel really uncomfortable. It got me thinking about a lot of the things that make me anxious/uncomfortable/nervous. This made me realize that a) I'm a strange person and b) I should compile some of these nervous ticks for all the Internet to read.

So here they are, in no particular order, five things that make me feel really uncomfortable.

1) Carrying on a conversation while standing in line: Standing in line is nerve-racking enough. I mean, you're standing really close to people you don't know and probably don't like. What makes this even more uncomfortable is when someone I know is behind me, and they're trying to carry on a conversation with me. Maybe it's the total lack of privacy, but most likely what bothers me is that I just don't want to pay attention to your conversation because I'm already overwhelmed with the prospect of being stuck in a fucking line.

2) Carrying on a conversation at the urinal: If you're a woman, odds are you've never experienced the awkwardness that accompanies this encounter. This is something one man should never subject another man to. Just keep your eyes on the road and your mouth shut. Talking at the sink is OK, but definitely not at the urinal.

3) Walking with my girlfriend on my left-hand side: This is something I really can't explain. It just doesn't feel right when she's walking on my left. Maybe it's just a dominant hand thing.

4) Encounters with former high school classmates: No matter what I may say, I'm not glad to see you. Really, you're just making me feel uncomfortable by approaching me and requiring me to remember you/act interested. You either didn't give a shit about me five years ago or hated me. And by the way, your orange tanning-bed glow/tribal tattoo looks terrible.

5) Calling people I don't know: I don't know you. You don't know me. You probably don't want to talk to me either. Can't I just send you an e-mail?

Thoughts on a meeting.

2009-08-03T23:35:00.002-04:00

I did my first piece of real journalism in a while this evening. I covered a Butler borough council meeting. It made me realize a few things, the first being that I really miss reporting.

While this wasn't exactly a thrilling assignment, there's always something thrilling about throwing yourself into an environment you know absolutely nothing about and trying to distill the chaos into a few hundred words. Case in point -- I didn't think I'd be reporting about NBC's "Biggest Loser" at a council meeting in small-town, N.J.

I was rustier than I expected to be, but in the end, I got the facts straight and was able to draw out a solid narrative. Which is also something I realized.

There's definitely a reason why many fiction writers started out as journalists. It certainly puts you in touch with reality. You can't write about life if you truly don't understand it. Taking something mundane, like a council meeting, and crafting it into something readable certainly is a skill. It's also a challenge I really enjoy -- sort of the only puzzle I can ever take pleasure in completing: How can I make someone care?

I know, for sure, that I can't spend the rest of my life editing. I really enjoy my job at The Ledger, but if I was to stay there, I'd have to do freelance work on the side, and of course, I'd keep writing fiction too.

There is no silencing this desire to write.

...all drafts are bad.

2009-08-01T23:39:00.003-04:00

I started what will be the long, arduous process of editing "Further Ahead" today. I was revisiting Christopher Klim's book, "Write to Publish," in order to get my fiction-editing bearings. Truer words about revision have never been written:

Another important precept of writing is that all drafts are bad. Bad is a general category, ranging from not too bad to pretty damn bad.

I must admit, I've been discouraged when peoples' interpretations of my work have been less than favorable, but I mean, I was foisting a half-finished draft on their eyes and ears. And the fact that I got a good deal of positive feedback can't be a bad sign.

Most people are quick to ask, or quick to wonder, what's the point? I think every writer wants an audience or fame. That legitimizes your work. It makes you feel relevant. But writing is an introspective process. For someone who is content just sitting in a comfortable chair and thinking, it's the ultimate cathartic experience to put your thoughts and views into words.

I can't deny that I'd like to be a respected, and widely known author. I don't think any writer would. But for me, the real fun is in the process. I was afraid to pick up where I left off, and I kept procrastinating the inevitable plunge. But with the first rewrite of chapter one under my belt, I'm craving more. I want this book to be the best it can be.

And maybe it won't turn out to be anything. But the way I see it, it had to be written before I could start the next book.

It doesn't pay the bills.

2009-08-01T00:12:00.003-04:00

There's this pandemic of depression that pervades everyone in my age cohort right now. Well, mostly everyone. I think it's because we've all simultaneously realized we've been lied to. Or maybe we haven't been lied to. Maybe it's just bad timing. As I said to one of my fellow editors tonight, "It's a terrible time to be 22."

I don't think anyone ever thought that being 22 would ever be a low point in someone's life. Theoretically, a person should have their whole life ahead of them at that age. I don't even know if I'll have a job come mid-August. I don't know when I'll be able to move out of my parents' house.

But really, this isn't about me. I really worry about the consequences of a whole generation -- told from birth that they could be whatever they wanted to be, do whatever they wanted to do -- coming out of college and groaning a collective "Now what?" through clenched teeth. I don't know what comes next, and neither do millions of other people like me.

I've learned to tone down my dreams a bit, and I've removed all expectations entirely. I take what I'm given, and I'm grateful. On the whole, I'd say this is a positive thing. It's forced me to live consciously from moment to moment. This sense of awareness is reassuring, but it doesn't pay the bills.

"I don't know what to tell you kids anymore," another coworker said to me. You don't have to tell us anything. We've all learned to recalibrate our dreams and ambitions the hard way.

Something more.

2009-07-31T00:56:00.005-04:00

I don't write nearly as often as I should -- both on this blog and in general. That's just the grind of the working life talking. It's the odd hours with odd people. They add up and the damage can't be undone.

I'm very concerned that the life I've wanted is drifting farther out of reach with each day I spend in these hourly doldrums. I'm 22. I should be writing daily. I should be freelancing. But I feel like there's no time.

I try to wake up early, usually around 8:30 a.m. I get up, eat and have my coffee, but my bed looks so tempting. I usually go back to sleep until noon. Then it's time to hurry off to the gym, then my long drive to Newark. My goals and ambitions have taken the backseat to the all-mighty dollar, the all-encompassing career. I'm afraid that by the time I learn to act my age, it will be too late. I'll be an old man with a little bit of hair, and maybe a motorcycle.

Christopher Klim, my writing mentor, once told me that there will be a point in my life when I have to make a very difficult decision. Will I walk some common path, or will I make an attempt at being something more, something different. He told me this after showing my magazine writing class the documentary "The U.S. vs. John Lennon."

The next semester, my last, I went on to write "Further Ahead," a novella which I have yet to revisit, in terms of editing. I wrote it under his guidance. It languishes in a folder somewhere on this laptop. I'm afraid that when I revisit it, I'll find nothing that I like.

I suppose this could be the case, but Klim also taught me something else. You write for yourself. You write as if no one else will be reading your words. And you pile up the rejection notices. And eventually, maybe, you get things right.

I guess I have a difficult choice to make. Better to consider this now than 20 years from now.

It's in the bag.

2009-07-09T11:07:00.004-04:00

I don't know how long Urban Outfitters has been using this shopping bag. I haven't been to the store in a while, mostly because I have no money. On Monday, I brought my most recent purchase home in this. The shopping bag is more interesting than what I bought.

Other than the ballsy use of hyphenation on the logo, the bag has a sturdy cloth strap stitched -- not glued -- onto the bag itself. The New York Times wrote about how shopping bags have become as important as clothing itself.

I don't plan on parading around with this bag, mostly for fear of being misconstrued as a toolish hipster (which obviously, I am not). I also don't want to be a walking billboard for URBAN OUTFI-
TTERS. But, it's so nice that I can't bring myself to throw it away (and by throw away, I mean recycle). I wouldn't be surprised if you see a few people walking around Williamsburg with these.

No place sacred in the modern world.

2009-07-08T10:42:00.003-04:00

I had a great weekend with Kelly. And when I say weekend, I mean Sunday and Monday since those are my two days off. But it seemed like everywhere we went, we were surrounded by the ugly rudeness of the modern world.

No place was sacred. Working backward, our Monday breakfast at a local diner was punctuated by the incessant ring tones of two 60-year-old women. I've heard the older generations scold those younger for their lack of civility, but apparently it goes both ways. The two women received at least three phone calls each. Neither muted their phones during their meal.

And then at the Honda dealership, while waiting for my car to be serviced, a man proceeded to walk around the room talking into his blue tooth headset. He wasn't driving a car. He wasn't even doing anything that would require the use of both hands. But he was still walking around the room, seemingly talking to himself like a complete douchebag. And then, when a technician came in to talk to him about his car, she spoke to him for at least five unanswered minutes before she figured out he was on the phone. I'm sure we've all experienced this incredibly awkward phenomenon.

Not even the woods were sacred. Kelly and I went on a hike on Sunday only to get caught behind a gaggle of yuppies and their children. The mother, I presume, was talking on her cell phone the entirety of the 1/4 mile we spent behind her and her husband/boyfriend. We were miles away from civilization -- and it was a weekend -- and she still couldn't unplug.

At what point do we draw the line? Maybe when our existence becomes entirely digital -- a simulation of a simulation of a simulation. I pondered this question at the top of the mountain, at hike's end, as I took out my Blackberry, snapped a photo and sent it to my Twitter account.

Wilco will love you, baby.

2009-07-02T00:04:00.003-04:00

I just purchased Wilco's new self-titled record. The first few listens through, I was feeling underwhelmed. But I think my opinion on the record has done a complete 180.

I really enjoyed "Sky Blue Sky" for its classical rock boisterousness. It was an ambitious record, but the instrumentation didn't walk all over itself. While Nels Kline's guitar playing was one of the standout elements of the record, it was accentuated quite nicely by the collective musicianship of the band and Jeff Tweedy's lyricism.

Wilco's latest record showcases a band with both an entrenched musical identity and a refined approach to song craftsmanship. While "Sky Blue Sky" was a raucous blend of folk and jazz-inspired metal riffery, the devil is truly in the details of "Wilco." The intonation of the instruments is layered delicately so that within any given instant, you can find something within the spectrum of sound to really savor. The piano accents in particular are exceptional. Kline's guitar playing also seems to have taken a backseat to Tweedy's churning rhythm. His virtuosity, however, is still apparent throughout the record.

Standout tracks include the classically canonical "Bull Black Nova," "Everlasting" and the Tweedy-Feist duet, "You and I." Do yourself a favor and get yourself a copy ASAP so you don't miss out on the next installment from what is one of the most influential bands of our generation.

Exit Loan Counseling made me feel like a moron.

2009-06-30T11:03:00.003-04:00

I hate anything that makes me feel like a moron. Whether I am actually a moron or not is up for debate. But today I had to do my exit loan counseling. And by today, I mean I was told by the College of New Jersey to do it in June. After the third reminder e-mail -- the first two coming from the College, the last from Citibank -- I decided it was probably time to get my act together.

Although I'd rather not support a financial institution that took banking bailout money, my credit score is at stake here. Which is why, I feel, in this particular instance, I am not a moron. Because I am conscious of these two facts: a) The banking industry was totally fucked up over the past few years and b) I have an understanding of the concept of credit (and know my credit score, moreover).

Exit Loan Counseling was an hour of my life that I will never have back. Was it necessary for me? Not really. I borrowed money from a bank, and now I need to give it back. I didn't need to take a quiz to figure that out. But apparently, for many Americans, this is necessary. And I guess the fact that so many toxic assets floating around in the market were student loans requires people to undergo such small transgressions against our free time and freedom from overbearing, invasive government.

The necessity of Exit Loan Counseling is emblematic of the financial crisis in this country. Credit was too easy to get. My first week at College four years ago, I watched droves of students sign up for credit cards in order to get free T shirts and other assorted bullshit. They didn't know or care to understand that the interest rates on these cards would be too obscene to retype here. Multiply this willing ignorance by thousands of dollars in student loans, and you've got yourself a financial culture ripe for destruction.

These same people are the types who need loan counseling. Point being, if you're stupid enough to require entrance and exit loan counseling, you probably shouldn't be able to take out a loan in the first place, even if there is a cool T shirt involved.

The Lost Generation of I

2009-05-18T10:14:00.005-04:00

I spent thousands of dollars -- some of them my parents', some of them my own -- to become a Real American. I say that within the context of the middle-class values system. A Real American has a college degree. I now have a bachelor's degree in English-Journalism.

Great. Although I'm not quite sure what that means. There are greater forces at play, however.

I'm not a fan of Post-Modern literature. I'm all about the Modernists -- Joyce, Hemingway, Fitzgerald, et cetera. They were part of a Lost Generation -- a generation that fell between the cracks of World War I and World War II.

Sure, our generation has a war. But it's a modern war. Some of us have elected to fight in it, but the reasons now have shifted. I won't even attempt to enumerate the reasons people choose the military. I had my own when I was considering that route. But priorities have shifted with the times.

Our universal pronoun has become "I." I'm not attaching any judgement to that conclusion. It just is what it is. Our wars are internal, our struggles covertly interpersonal. And we are lost in ourselves.

I have a college degree. I'm a Real American. I'm a Real American 10 years too late. My dreams are 100 years too old. I don't have a job, though I want one. I don't have my own place, though I want one. My search for a place in the world is both material and spiritual. I'm just as lost as the Modernists. I'm part of a new lost "I" generation -- The Lost Generation of I. I grew up believing in a dream that no one had the heart to tell me wasn't real -- at least not anymore. I think this will be my children's bedtime story. I'm grateful, however, that I was able to discern the truth eventually.

I encourage the rest of the Lost Generation of I not to be discouraged. I did the best I could. I'm sure you did, too. There's still plenty of time to salvage the wreckage. Don't forget that there's more beyond yourself. There is the first-person, plural pronoun, also.

I don't care about sports.

2009-04-16T13:26:00.002-04:00

Maybe this makes me less of a man, but I don't really give a damn about sports. It's not that I don't enjoy them -- I do. I lettered in three varsity sports in high school. I was far from athletic, but I saw the value in being on a team.

My parents certainly got it. Sports are crucial in the development of children. Being on a team forces children to interact and work together. It builds social skills and character. If I have kids, they'll probably be playing something every season. I only have to look at the social ineptness of some people my age -- those who didn't play sports -- to see how important they are.

But as an adult, my sporting life has faded. And truth be told, I don't really miss it that much either. But I think most people my age do, and they turn to professional sports for the entertainment value, and possibly on a more subconscious level -- live out their athletic aspirations through the pros. This doesn't interest me.

If I was interested in sports, I'd probably be a Mets and Jets fan. And let's face it, I've got enough to be stressed and depressed about. This is probably the biggest reason I'm not following professional teams.

But there are times when I feel like I'm at a social disadvantage to my male counterparts. At social gatherings, whenever the topic of sports comes up, I always find myself slinking off to fix myself another drink, or to talk to a group of other like-minded individuals in skinny jeans and thick, black plastic-framed glasses.

And it seems like most of my friends -- even the die-hard literary types and musicians -- are sports fans. This is why I hate football and baseball season. It's like the leaves start to turn, and for the next few months I have nothing to talk about until late January. And then I get a short reprieve, but as soon as the ground thaws and Spring Training starts again, it's like everything I do amounts to nothing because I don't know the Mets' starting lineup.

It could just be that I'm the only person on earth with this problem. Most men and women know and care more about sports than I do. 'Tis a lonely lot I've been cast into. Anyone out there feel the same way?

Time to go fix myself a drink and look for some more hipsters to talk to.

The first tax return.

2009-04-15T20:53:00.003-04:00

So, today is Tax Day and most Americans are pissed. I'm one of them, but I'm pissed for other reasons. But first, a little background about my tax experience this year.

This summer, I was employed as a contractor editing a book. I made the bulk of my income this way, in tandem with a lot of freelance journalism. This means I had no taxes withheld and had to file a W-9.

Thankfully, I had enough sense to put away 20 percent of each paycheck in a savings account and leave it alone. But finding out I owed the federal government nearly $1,000 still made me wince.

My fathers words as he looked over my tax forms, fresh from the accountant: "Welcome to the world of being self-employed."

And what a world it is.

But my tax return isn't that interesting. The First Tax Return, that of the White House, is. According to the BBC, President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama declared nearly $3 million in income this year.

So much for relating to Middle America. The average American nets about $50,000 annually. I've got to hand it to Obama though. He is a charitable guy -- distributing nearly $200,000 of his income to charities. And what's even scarier is that he had to pay more than $800,000 in taxes. My paltry sum of $1,000 pales in comparison.

I don't know much about money, mostly because I don't have any, but it seems to me like the tax system could use some modification. It hurt to write my comparatively small check to the federal government, but I'd probably sob if I had to watch nearly $1 million of my money go back to the feds.

President Obama, while I can't exactly relate to your income bracket, I certainly know your pain.

And speaking from a completely objective, journalistic perspective, I'm beginning to think that my theory about liberals being liberals only because they can afford to be is true. At least the ranking ones, anyway.

Journalism grad will work for food.

2009-04-14T14:33:00.004-04:00

I'll be graduating in May. Well, that's the rumor. As of today, I haven't received a notification letter that will tell me -- one way or the other -- whether or not I'll be parading out of this little chunk of turf and mulch on May 15. But that's a story for another day.

What's really on my mind, and likely on the minds of all my fellow graduates, is the job hunt. And for my fellow journalism majors, the weight of this particular trial is especially burdensome. I get the feeling that my qualifications mean nothing. Most of the best things I have to offer don't even come across on a resume. My work speaks for itself, and unless an employer observes me diligently pursuing the truth in a fishbowl, they're just not going to get that.

So maybe that's what I can use this blog for. It's lived and died a thousand lives and deaths since I started it a few years ago. I read this article that suggested I use blogs to brand myself -- to get my name out on search engines. Last vanity Google, I was the first Joseph Hannan to pop up -- that's ahead of my grandfather, a published author, and my uncle -- a former head of the NJ CPAs. So in terms of getting my name out, I'm not sure how effective this will be.

And what is my brand anyway? I'd like to think its mostly army surplus and spare bayonet parts mixed in with a dash of Fossil, Marc Jacobs and ironic components of the LL Bean catalog.

At the very least, this blog could be a fishbowl. Do you have a job for me? Read through the archive and see what I'm capable of. I might just impress you. I'll work for three meals a day.

Maybe financial crisis can revitalize the news industry.

2009-03-11T13:23:00.003-04:00

I was part of this awesome webinar this morning, through The Times of Trenton, that was all about covering the current banking sector bailout. It was hosted by Bill Allison of the Sunlight Foundation. Allison provided tips on how to take the raw data of major banking bailout components and generate localized coverage regarding banks in individual communities. Already, I've begun to formulate ideas about some stories I'd like to pursue.

Allison also gave us a bunch of useful Web sites. The first, SubsidyScope, provides methods of visualizing the distribution of the bailout funds. The data can be viewed in various graphic formats or downloaded in an Excel spreadsheet -- a computer-assisted reporter's dream come true. Allison also linked us to ProPublica as a means of tracking economic stimulus funds and also the FDIC's Web site as means of tracking corporate ownership of smaller local banks.

I'm really pleased to see an organization taking steps to educate financially illiterate journalists (like myself). I think abuse within these financial packages is not a question of if, but rather when, and journalists need to be prepared to investigate and write these complex stories in a way readers will be able to understand.

Now, more than ever, the role of the journalist in society (an undervalued role at best) is going to be of the utmost importance. In fact, I had another thought: Maybe this is exactly what the news industry needs to revitalize and reinvent itself. Could it be that the true beneficiaries of the bailouts and stimulus plans will be the journalists who diligently track the corruption?

Obama's constant campaign distracts Americans from the real issues.

2009-03-10T16:08:00.007-04:00

For your consideration, loyal readers, I'd like to present to you the other side of the struggle between President Barack Obama and conservative pundit Rush Limbaugh. This side, unfortunately, impacts you most directly.

When did the presidency become a never-ending campaign? Seriously, help me out here political science majors. The ongoing bickering between Obama and Limbaugh is nothing but political posturing. It's as if Obama was never elected and is now suddenly running against Limbaugh. What the hell happened?

And Obama's address to the joint session of congress a few weeks back: What was that? It wasn't a State of the Union address, but it sure looked like one. Come to think of it, it also looked and sounded a lot like a campaign stump speech for the economic stimulus bill. Pretty gloomy for a campaign speech, I must admit, but that's a post for another day. I ask again, when did the constant campaigning come to fruition and as a result of it, when does Obama have any time to, you know ... be the president and do presidential things.

After thinking this over, I've come to the conclusion that this constant bickering with Limbaugh is part of the Obama's constant campaign strategy -- smoke and mirrors to distract Americans from the harsher realities the country currently faces.

Show of hands: How many of you actually understand the banking crisis? How many of you actually know what "toxic assets" are or what the phrase "mark it to market" actually means? My guess is not that many. I'm a journo-in-training with an interest in finance, and up until a week ago, I didn't know either.

I subscribe to Obama's weekly videocasts. I follow his speeches and statements closely. My ears perk up any time U.S. Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner decides to open his mouth (which admittedly doesn't happen very often). And yet, none of them are actually saying anything meaningful. It's all classic political rhetoric. The never-ending campaign continues.

(Thankfully, National Public Radio's "This American Life" did an explanatory piece on the crisis, titled "Bad Bank." It's very easy to understand and you can listen to it here.)

Show of hands: How many of you fully understand the housing crisis? Again, not something I got until I listened to the podcast linked above. But this is also something I have yet to hear anything meaningful on from the federal level.

Show of hands: How many of you read yesterday's New York Times article in which former Guantanamo detainees expressed pride in carrying out the Sept. 11 attacks? The detention center was recently shut down and Obama has yet to decide on what to do with these confessed terrorists:

In their filing, the men describe the planning of the Sept. 11 attacks and
the killing of Americans as a model of Islamic action, and say the American
government’s accusations cause them no shame, according to the excerpts read by
the government official.

“To us,” the official continued reading, “they are not accusations. To
us they are a badge of honor, which we carry with honor.”

But what's making political headlines right now? What's on the minds of politically minded Americans? Most people are talking about the war of words between the Oval Office and Limbaugh, and serious matters like these are not getting the full attention they deserve. I'm not sure to what extent the media is to blame, but I don't want to be part of the problem.

Obama Presidency -- I declare shenanigans on you. Stop with the smoke and mirrors. Stop with the constant campaigning. Get down to business like you said you would. Help Americans understand the issues that they face. And shut up about the fat man.

Republicans: The new party of no?

2009-03-09T13:13:00.006-04:00

President Barack Obama's publicity war against conservative pundit Rush Limbaugh has dominated the headlines lately. Personally, I'm getting tired of the bickering, and I wish both sides of the political spectrum would do something meaningful.

It seems lately the Republican party has been struggling to rationalize its antiquated existence. This was apparent to me in the coverage of CPAC '09 -- mostly in the selection of Limbaugh as the keynote speaker. It's true that the Republican party has had a bit of an image problem. I can't think of a time when it was ever cool to be a Republican -- maybe during the emancipation era under President Abraham Lincoln.

The Republican Party's image problem is similar to that of the Boy Scouts of America -- stuffy, kind of dorky and seemingly irrelevant. (Keep in mind I was once a College Republican and an Eagle Scout.) And using Limbaugh as a de facto leader isn't helping. The guy is abrasive and obese. Moreover, his message isn't all that inspiring.

When Republicans were in power, the leading criticism of the Democratic Party was that they were the party of no. It seems like there's been a role-reversal here, spearheaded by Limbaugh. It's sort of disturbing to me that he would want Obama's economic plan -- one that stands to impact all Americans for better or worse -- to fail. I understand that he thinks it will lead to an erosion of American free-market principles, but the New Deal didn't exactly kill the free market either.

I think the Republican Party has some soul-searching to do if it wants to remain relevant. For better or worse, Obama proved the effectiveness of the pop presidency. In these times, cultivating an image is almost as important as cultivating ideas. And if Limbaugh is the new image of the Republican Party, then the party is in deep shit.

Interestingly enough, I'm more impressed now with Sen. John McCain now than I was during his candidacy. He's letting his personality shine through the rhetoric. And his daily tweets about the pork in the economic stimulus package are riveting and funny. For a guy who didn't know how many houses he owns and who had no common Internet sense, he's managed to make himself seem relevant to me.

Maybe Republicans should be looking to McCain's example if they want to remain relevant in the current political discourse. I believe in the two-party system. I'd like to keep U.S. republican democracy healthy, and it's going to take two interesting parties with new ideas to keep it that way.

When did vinyl become hip?

2009-03-08T21:43:00.003-04:00

I've been sitting here agonizing over whether or not to blog about what I'm about to blog about, probably for about 15 minutes now. But this is a subject near and dear to my heart. And I'll be damned if it's too mundane to hold your attention.

I love records. Vinyl records. I have since I figured out how to play them on my Grandmother's turntable around age 10. Then, as now, a record was a novelty item. But the vinyl LP has become a staple of my music collection over the years -- long before it was hip. In high school, I used to have vinyl parties at my house. Guests were encouraged to bring a record, play it for attendees and explain their selections. This prompted many of them to rediscover vinyl's appeal. And no, this is not one of those hipper-than-thou posts. I am in no way trying to prove that I'm cooler than you because I've been into vinyl for longer than you.

You see, I know I'm not hip. I'm so far from hip that I actively avoid hipness at all costs. But I love my record collection. I've been building it up over the years with new acquisitions and by pilfering from my parents' collection. I'd love to bring my turntable and some records back to my dorm room at school, but I feel like I can't. I don't want to be misconstrued as a hipster. And this is the heart of my dilemma. Is the expansiveness of one's vinyl collection an indicator of their hipness? And when did vinyl become hip anyway? Was it during the brief leg warmer's stint of 2005, or perhaps the longer-running flowing scarf trend of the past year-and-a-half?

I'm not sure. But sometime during the past few years, Urban Outfitters started selling turntables with USB outputs so you can upload your LPs to your iPod. I'm sorry, but this makes absolutely no sense to me. The appeal of a record is that you have to sit down and take it in. You have to devote your attention to it fully -- taking in the music while perhaps poring over the oversized liner notes.

Somewhere along the way, the image of the vinyl listener became more important than the music itself. I guess my aversion to bringing my turntable back to school is fear of being lumped into this catagory.

Maybe I have a point. But maybe I should really just grow a set.

Ann Coulter lectures at TCNJ tonight.

2009-02-18T10:42:00.006-05:00

Ann Coulter will be speaking tonight at the College of New Jersey, and extensive protest and controversy are expected. I'll be Tweeting the event (http://twitter.com/J_F_86) as well as updating this blog periodically throughout the day. Keep checking back here for future posts.

This post is coming to you live from my Beats & Deadlines class. Michael Tracey, the head of the College Democrats, and Brian Hackett, head of the College Republicans, are already posturing and squaring off for tonight's protest/lecture, respectively. The Democrats are spearheading a walkout which is planned to take place 15 minutes into the lecture. The Republicans have spent more than $20,000 of the Student Activities Fee to bring the conservative political pundit to campus.

The two campus political heads have been trading jabs for the past 50 minutes. Though they've refrained from ad hominem arguments, their interaction has been tense. If their Q & A session is any indication of what's to come tonight, controversy is sure to abound.

According to Tracey, the Democrats and their affiliated coalition of protesters take issue with Coulter's inflamatory lecture style, her use of hate speech and the Republicans' marketing of controversy.

"Since she's offended so many throughout her career, there is really no place for the College or the College Republicans to bring her here," Tracey said.

Hackett countered, saying that the College has brought controversial liberal speakers in the past, including writer/historian Howard Zinn and former Black Panther Angela Davis. Neither of these speakers were brought by the College Democrats.

"I think it's wonderful that people are inspired enough by this event to be protesting it in a number of ways," Hackett said.

Coulter's lecture will begin at 7 p.m. in the Kendall Hall auditorium with the protest beginning at 5:30 p.m. outside Kendall, according to a statement issued by several student groups involved in the Coulter protest coalition. Protesters will walk out at 7:15 p.m. and proceed to the Brower Student Center to have a discussion of hot-button political issues.

"We are not for hate and intolerance," Tracey said.

*In the interest of full disclosure, in 2006 I served as the treasurer and vice chairman of the College's College Republican chapter. I've since lost all of my political sentiment and accepted rampant political apathy. God bless America.*

Insane every Monday night.

2009-02-12T16:53:00.004-05:00

As you may or may not know, I'm the Editor-in-Chief of The Signal, student newspaper at The College of New Jersey. I've been involved with The Signal since my sophomore year. I've served as a staff writer, production manager, opinions editor, arts & entertainment editor and now I'm the head-honcho.

The Signal is sustained entirely through ad revenue. We receive no money from the College. That said, the editing staff is underpaid. The photographers are unpaid. The writers are all volunteer. Point being: No one goes into this to make money, just as no one goes into professional journalism to be rich.

So what do I get out of this? Why do I spend roughly thirty to forty hours a week slaving away for something that's read by students one day, then lining hamster and bird cages the next? Well, I care about journalism more than I care about my own well being. And to illustrate that fact, I've compiled a slide show.

I wanted you to see first hand what happens to me on any given production night. I took a photo of myself, first when I arrived at the office at 10 a.m. Some time passed, in which I went to the gym and prepared for the day, until the second picture was taken. But for all intents and purposes, the day began at 10 a.m. -- excluding the eight hours I worked the day prior.

See as the last vestiges of sanity vanish from my eyes as the clock ticks on past 3 a.m. Tuesday. We ended up putting this issue to bed around 3:30 a.m.

Insane_Editor

Obama needs these records.

2009-01-31T20:48:00.004-05:00

Rolling Stone blogger David Browne recently wrote a post titled "Obama's Secret Record Collection" about President Obama's new-found access to a presidential collection of rare, vintage vinyl. In the article, Obama was quoted as saying he was looking forward to listening to Bob Dylan's "Blood on the Tracks" and Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run."

Needless to say, this piqued my interest. I was instantly sure the fate of our country was in good hands. Not only am I a huge Dylan fan, but "Blood on the Tracks" is my favorite Dylan record. But, this got me thinking. What records would be essential records for an effective presidency? Here are my top five choices with explanations:

5) "Funeral," The Arcade Fire -- Recent U.S. history has been plagued by terrorism, war and partisan bickering. This record perfectly captures the turmoil our country has been a part of. I would ask President Obama to listen closely and to understand that we've still got a ways to go.

4) "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot," Wilco -- This record rose from the rubble of Sept. 11, capturing the vulnerability we all felt after the World Trade Center fell. It should serve as a reminder of our damaged American consciousness and the need for closure.

3) "Meet The Beatles!," The Beatles -- Symbolic of our need for diplomacy, this record serves as a reminder that some of the best things in the world come from outside the United States. The Beatles offered their own reinterpretation of American rock 'n' roll and rhythm & blues, doing it just as good or better than any other American bands at the time.

2) "All Things Must Pass," George Harrison -- I can imagine being the president can be emotionally draining. I always found this record to be uplifting.

1) "The Basement Tapes," Bob Dylan & The Band -- I've often thought about what it means to be an American. In fact, I just wrote a novel that entertains that question. This record has its finger planted firmly on the pulse of the American subconsciousness. A president needs to have a deep-rooted understanding of our country. This record enhances that understanding.

Their sex was on fire.

2009-01-30T20:54:00.006-05:00

It was truly a night for fans. Kings of Leon, on Jan. 29, played to packed Madison Square Garden that teemed and swayed with the pulsating energy of their sound. It was the band's first show at the Garden and its first States-side arena performance. And they took to it with gusto and swagger -- delivering what will probably go down as one of the most memorable of the band's career.

Midway through the band's set, Caleb Fallowill, frontman and rhythm guitarist, ambled humbly up to the microphone, eyes pinned to the front of the stage, clutching an acoustic guitar. He thanked the rambunctious, massive gathering for what was probably the fourth time that evening for their continued support, noting that many had come from far-flung locations.

Kings of Leon owes much of its success to its large European fan-base. Only within the last three years has the band begun to acquire the stardom it rightfully deserves in the United States. And yet Caleb Fallowill remained humble, and said he'd "dreamed of playing here all (his) life" before launching into the E-major rocker, "Fans," "for the last true fan-base" in the industry. And the crowd reciprocated with hip shaking -- beer bottles aloft with plumes of pungent marijuana rising to the Garden's rafters.

On the massive JumboTron erected above the stage, Caleb and the other brothers/cousins Fallowill appeared nervous at times. Early in the set, Matthew Followill, lead guitarist and backing vocalist, could be seen shuffling off to the side of the stage -- riffing the entire time -- to take sips through a straw from a red solo cup, perched atop his amplifier's flight case. Maybe the Kings needed some liquid (or chemical) courage to confront the thousands practically circling the stage, but there was no hesitation -- not even the slightest hint of nervousness -- in the tenacity of their delivery.

In all probability, the Kings of Leon have been preparing for a show of this magnitude for all their lives. Their most recent release, "Only By The Night," sounds like it was written to blow the rafters off of arenas. Songs like "Closer," "Crawl" and and "Revelry" did just that. Writing and performing songs like this walks a fine line between poignant rock and tacky arena balladry, but the Kings pull it off -- and with finesse. It's their humility and sincerity that sells it.

Never was this more apparent than right before they launched into their alternative-rock radio hit, "Sex On Fire." Caleb asked the crowd for assistance before even announcing the song's title. When bassist and backing vocalist Jared Followill launched into the song's slightly distorted prelude, the crowd exploded in rapture. Bodies were swaying, couples were locking lips, and the sea of humanity undulated with unbridled sexual energy.

And yes, there is something undeniably sexy about thousands of people singing at the top of their voices, "You, your sex is on fire." Passionate make-out sessions continued during the tasteful ballad, "Use Somebody."

With the price of concert tickets rising almost exponentially, it's important to feel like you get your money's worth at a concert. Truly, it was an evening for the fans -- many of whom could be seen exiting the Garden in the afterglow. Certainly, The Kings of Leon felt the same way, living by their mantra, "You know those rainy days ain't so bad when you're the king."

Kings of Leon @ MSG

2009-01-29T17:39:00.002-05:00

So, I'm going to see Kings of Leon tonight at Madison Square Garden. I read somewhere that the songs on Only By The Night were written to be played in larger, arena-type venues. I guess I'll see how they hold up. Expect a more detailed post tomorrow.

Update.

2009-01-28T15:04:00.003-05:00

So, I haven't updated this mess in a while. I'm going to resurrect this blog. A Lazarus blog. A blog from beyond the grave. A blog ... well, it's a blog.

This blog will be slightly more serious than my LiVEJOURNAL, Inter-states. Go there for the really juicy stuff. When I say stuff, I mean tasteful nudes. Of me.

This blog started out as a semi-serious news outlet where I could let my personality spill into the writing a bit more than I can in my day-to-day journalistic endeavors. Now, more than ever, I'm beginning to indulge in my narcisstic tendencies. This blog will be reflexive of that, from now on. Get used to it.

It's not bipolar. It's Strangers & Outlaws. Maybe I'm a stranger to you. Maybe I'm not. But I'm always the Outlaw.

It's On Now

2008-08-15T12:45:00.000-04:00

An Open Letter to Jonathan Garthwaite and Townhall

2008-08-15T11:57:00.004-04:00

Dear Jonathan Garthwaite--

It is my sincerest hope that you are the egotistical maniac I've imagined you to be and that whenever your name is dropped in a blog, you get notified. I really want you to read this in order to fully understand what a pain in my ass you and your organization, Townhall, have been.

I have un-subscribed to your e-mail postings easily a dozen times by now. Yes, it's unfortunate that one of your unpaid interns/lackies conned me into signing up for your mailing list, but for Christ's sake, when I say I want off, you better damn-well believe I mean it.

I'm putting politics aside here. The fear inadvertantly conveyed in your Barack Obama smear campaign (Obamageddon? Seriously?) is mildly entertaining. I've passed around a number of these e-mails to like-minded college-age men and women and they've all agreed that you're insulting the intelligence of our age cohort. Really, refering to him as a "cult leader" in your most recent e-mail was hysterical.

I've got to hand it to you though, your e-mails are really starting to make me change my mind. I haven't decided on whom I'm going to vote for, but thanks to your steadfast e-mail campaign, I'm starting to lean toward Obama. Yes, I might vote for Obama just to spite you.

What has caused me to arrive at this decision, you might ask? Well, this morning's e-mail about your "NOBAMA" campaign was really the icing on the cake. I expected something a little more substantial from an organization with so much money and such a large readership as Townhall. You know, perhaps an arguement that is issue-oriented and not ad hominem. The "cult leader" line is sure to resignate with Christian conservatives though, I'll give you that much.

And trust me, I'm no Obama worshipper. I dislike both John McCain and Obama equally, mostly for their support of the FISA Act. But hey, if you guys at Townhall are going to such great lengths to monger fear to the ignorant masses (particularly the ignorant mass I belong to), then you too must be very, very afraid--and that in of itself is enough reason for me to do exactly what you don't want me to do.

On second thought, keep the e-mails coming, Garthwaite. They make for great blog fodder.

Sincerely,

J.F. Hannan
Ignoramus In-chief

Wilco Serenades Brooklyn

2008-08-14T20:18:00.007-04:00

If I had to pick one word to describe Wilco's Brooklyn performance at the McCarren Park Pool yesterday evening, it would be mesmerizing. Their sound has always had a visceral quality to me, but it took seeing them live to truly understand what Wilco is all about.

I've always been one to over-analyze rock music, listening for what the guitars are playing at a particular moment, trying to figure out a bass amp configuration, counting drum beats. I guess that's the wannabe musician inside of me trying to figure out what's making the band I'm listening to tick.

Very seldom does a band successfully snap me out of that hyper-analytical mode. Somewhere into "Misunderstood," track one on the band's '96 release "Being There," Wilco's eclecticism really hit home. I was hearing reverberations of grunge, country, Americana, punk rock and rock 'n' roll.

I began to think of The Band, and how, with the help of Bob Dylan, its members were able to tap into the wellspring of American music tradition and refine those timeless melodies into a revolutionized sound. Wilco's music possesses the very same timeless quality.

I was always taken aback by the song "Someone Else's Song," also from "Being There."

You already know the story and the chords are just the same.
You already know I love you, and I sound like whats-his-name.
But you can't stop me, I want you to know.
I know it sounds like someone else's song from along time ago.

When first listening to Wilco, I was also struck with this feeling of familiarity, but this familiarity was not in the sense that the band was unoriginal or uninspired. Rather, I felt as though I was born with all I ever needed to know to understand their songs. I felt the same way when I heard Dylan for the first time and again when I heard Ryan Adams.

I was hard pressed to come up with an angle for this post. I felt like a simple concert review wouldn't be enough, but in all honesty, I'm not even sure that a book would be enough to capture the intricacies of Wilco.

Suffice it to say that the concert was amazing. Nels Cline is one of the best guitarists in Rock 'n' Roll today. Dressed in black from head to toe, his elongated torso would bend with every note he pinched and stretched on the necks of his Fender Jazzmasters. It was like he was playing guitar with his whole body. Mid-song, he would lean over a four-foot table to his right to fiddle with the knobs of his effects peddles, generating mind bending tones that somehow managed to remain tasteful.

Jeff Tweedy was masterful in his delivery, at ease as he casually strummed an acoustic guitar or as he jammed out on the harmonized guitar licks of "Impossible Germany," a guitar tour de force from the band's most recent release, "Sky Blue Sky." His voice filtered through the cool August evening air in nearly a whisper on songs like "I Am Trying to Break Your Heart" and spiked sharply on energized tunes like "Pot Kettle Black."

There is also something to be said for the atmosphere of the McCarren Pool. Granted, it's not the nicest venue in New York, but it has undeniable character--character which I think suited Wilco's performance. Maybe it's just me, but there's something inherently rebellious and perhaps American in standing in an abandoned pool, listening to rock music, surrounded by skinny, tattooed Brooklynites drinking Brooklyn Beer. Beautiful.

Not to mention that the skyline around the park is lined by new apartment buildings that look like they came from an Ikea catalog. I guess that's the look they're marketing. What made the homogenized skyline appealing were the numerous residents standing on their balconies, drinks in hand, taking in the beautiful August night and the soulful melodies.

Check out the Brooklyn Vegan blog for pictures and a set list. I feel like I've done the evening some justice at this point, but as the title of the record suggests, it was all about being there.

Today's Outlaws--Bob Dylan, John Lennon

2008-08-14T17:46:00.002-04:00

Bob Dylan proved that at 67, he can still put on an amazing performance. The New York Times reports that Dylan gave a first-ever Brooklyn performance in Prospect Park last night. At this stage in his career, Dylan has a habit of rearranging his songs. "Girl from the North Country" and "Blowin' in the Wind" underwent drastic revision, according to The Times. Ever the dissident, Dylan took aim at the establishment with two anti-war songs, "John Brown" and "Masters of War."

Rolling Stone reports that a number of John Lennon's drawings will be on display in a Milwaukee museum exhibit. The exhibit, "Coming Together Through the Art of John Lennon," will feature only a handful of the late Beatle's drawings because Yoko Ono, the owner of approximately 1,700 of Lennon's drawings, has yet to create any other ways to profit from her husband's talent.

Wilco Rocks Brooklyn Tonight

2008-08-13T11:48:00.003-04:00

I'll be seeing Wilco tonight at the McCarren Park Pool in Hipsterville (Williamsburg), Brooklyn. Check back for a detailed post sometime tomorrow or tonight. I'll twitter the finer points of the show.

Chapman Barred From Parole

2008-08-12T15:08:00.003-04:00

The AP reports that Mark David Chapman, the murder of late Beatle John Lennon, had his parole bid rejected today. This was Chapman's fifth denial to date. Probably a wise decision to keep this one locked away.

Today's Outlaws--Ben Stiller, The Allman Brothers and Radiohead

2008-08-12T11:52:00.004-04:00

The BBC reports that protesters picketed the premier of Ben Stiller's latest flick, "Tropic Thunder," which co-stars Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr. (in black face) among others. The BBC says demonstrators took issue with Stiller's character, "Simple Jack" and the use of the word "retarded."

Downey defended the film, saying the controversy was "open to interpretation."

"That's the great thing, you know, if I want to protest something because it offends me that's my right as an American, and it's also any artist's right to say and do whatever they want to do," Downey said.

In other news, the AP reports that the Allman Brothers Band (what's left of it, anyway) is suing the music group UMG for unpaid royalties from Internet downloads and ringtones. The band is seeking $13 million in compensation.

Also, Radiohead will compose the score for the film adaption of author Chuck Palahniuk's novel, "Choke," according to The BBC. Palahniuk said he listened to the album on repeat while writing "Choke," especially the track "Creep," arguably Radiohead's biggest single. Hipsters world-wide rejoiced.

Working in Kansas City

2008-08-04T11:11:00.005-04:00

Greetings from Kansas City, Missouri. I'm here helping out with a conference for my internship at Plexus Institute.

Check out the work I'm doing here.

Long Pond Ironworks Crumbling

2008-08-02T09:11:00.004-04:00

Historic preservation is something I deeply care about. I went out this morning for a dawn shoot to test out my new Nikon D60. I chose to go to Long Pond Ironworks to take some shots--a historic location nestled into the Ramapo Mountains on the fringe of West Milford township.

Long Pond overlooks the Monksville Reservoir and is visible from Greenwood Lake Turnpike. Founded in 1776, the ironworks produced war implements for the Continental Army during the American Revolution including cannon balls and most famously, the links of the trans-Hudson River chain.

It had been some time since I've visited Long Pond. Last time I was there, I was assisting in the construction of an observation deck that would overlook the site of the old water wheel that powered the ironworks. I was disappointed to see that the site has fallen into serious disrepair.

Many of the buildings have been vandalized. (Who would vandalize a historic site?) Others are poorly maintained, broken into and crumbling. I'm sure like every New Jersey state park, Long Pond is probably severely underfunded.

Regardless, it would be a travesty to let a landmark of great historic significance to crumble. I'm not sure what it would take to motivate the powers that be for a full restoration, but it appears that time is winning this battle. I'd say the Roman Forum is in better shape, right now.

Plokhoy Speaks The Truth

2008-07-30T20:29:00.002-04:00

My dear friend Keith Plokhoy took the liberty of writing a biography for me. Every word is true. Enjoy.

Sen. Ted Stevens Hit With Indictment

2008-07-29T13:30:00.005-04:00

The New York Times reports that Alaska Sen. (R) Ted Stevens will be indicted in a corruption case. Stevens is the longest-serving Republican in the Senate, according to The Times.

Stevens is famous for his proposed bridge to nowhere, unprecedented amounts of earmark spending, the net neutrality bill and of course, being really, really old.

I have several favorite [sarcasm] senators. What makes each special to me is their respective levels of douche-baggery. Stevens is by far my favorite Senator, with Massachusetts Sen. (D) Ted Kennedy coming in at a close second (see Chappaquiddick). Rounding out the top three is Virginia Sen. (D) Robert Byrd, a former member of the KKK who is also really, really old and downright ornery (there really is no other word to describe him).

Here are two videos that illustrate the incompetence and insanity of Sen. Byrd and Sen. Stevens. Enjoy:

Could Gov. Corzine be Sen. Obama's Running Mate?

2008-07-28T15:24:00.005-04:00

I'm beginning to wonder if Gov. Jon S. Corzine is gunning for a shot at the Democratic vice-presidential nod. He sure is spending a large amount of time with Sen. Barrack Obama.

Last week, Corzine's visit to Israel nearly overlapped with the Israel segment of Obama's trans-Atlantic tour. Corzine has also met with Obama on previous occasions to discuss financial policy, as reported by NJ.com and The New York Times.

The Newark Star-Ledger reported today that Corzine's approval ratings have begun to inch slowly upward.

Currently, 39 percent of New Jerseyans approve of how their governor is handling his job, compared to 46 percent who disapprove. Another 16 percent have no opinion.

This is a slight improvement from April, when Corzine registered career low job ratings of 34 percent approve to 52 percent disapprove. He is still a long way from the positive approval ratings he enjoyed prior to unveiling his now-aborted toll hike plan in January.

It's a long shot, but Corzine has always seemed opportunistic to me. He learned money could buy him a senate seat. Then he learned money could buy him the governorship. Why not a Vice Presidency?

I shudder at the thought. The current state of New Jersey is certainly an indicator of Corzine's leadership abilities. I would like to assume that Obama has enough sense to realize choosing Corzine as a running mate could cost him New Jersey--a Democratic stronghold.

Terrible News

2008-07-24T21:50:00.000-04:00

This is just awful.

'Deadliest Cath' Embodies the American Dream

2008-07-23T17:31:00.004-04:00

The conclusion of my favorite TV show, "Deadliest Catch," aired last night. I had abandoned all hope for televised media, but "Deadliest Catch" restored my faith in TV. Consequently, now I have no idea what I'll be doing on Tue. nights until king crab season rolls around.

I must admit, I was initially turned off to the concept of "Deadliest Catch." I don't really like crab much. The show is kind of repetitive--the crab pots go into the water empty, and come out full of crabs. And the theme song is "Cowboy" by Bon Jovi.

The Bon Jovi song alone was enough to make me not want to watch the show. But I gave it a chance, and after one episode (thank God this is not a blog about a fishing show or this would be a terrible pun), I was hooked.

My girlfriend expressed similar initial disdain for the show. But one episode was enough to make her follow the show religiously, as well.

So what is the appeal? For all intents and purposes, the show seems pretty boring. For me, the characters--particularly the ship captains--are the show's biggest selling point. Guys like Captain Phil Harris--a chain smoker with a deep love for his two sons and his crew--are the backbone of this country. Harris, Captain Sig Hansen, Captain Johnathan Hillstrand, his brother, Captain Andy Hillstrand, and Captain Keith Colburn are what John Lennon would have called working class heroes.

There is a pioneer spirit alive in each of the captains and their crews that nearly died out with the buffalo. They make their livings, staring icy death in the eye on the frigid Bering Sea. And why?--So people can eat crab in landlocked states year round. Sure, a $50,000 paycheck for four months of work sounds promising, put it requires a man to put his life at hazard.

It gives me a certain degree of comfort and optimism to know that this true American grit, this wild and reckless abandonment is still alive and well. Each of these captains and their crews deserve to have their stories told. Perhaps "Cowboy" isn't such a bad theme selection after all. I'd like to make a modest recommendation, though: "Heroes" by David Bowie, for a few of the keepers of the American Dream.

'The Dark Knight' Exceeds The Hype

2008-07-22T09:51:00.004-04:00

I couldn't stand feeling out of the loop anymore and went to see "The Dark Knight" yesterday evening. I must say, the movie exceeded my expectations.

I've been a Batman fan my entire life. Even at a young age, I placed a high priority on realism. I have vivid memories of scolding a preschool classmate for saying she wanted to be a giraffe when she grew up. The realism of Batman always appealed to me.

When you're five years old, watching reruns of Adam West-era, televised Batman, the one-dimensionality of the character as a clear force of good is appealing. What made "The Dark Knight" so appealing, as I revealed to my girlfriend as we left the theater, was that Batman has seemingly grown up with me.

"The Dark Knight" is tightly wound in layers of twisted psychological complexity, set in a world where order is spiraling wildly into chaos at the hands of a madman--the Joker. And at the heart of it all is one man with a vision--a regular man, not a superhero--trying to make a difference.

And yet, even this seemingly simple binary of good and evil--a mainstay of the comic book genre--is called into question, and Batman is faced with difficult decisions.

I don't want to elaborate more for fear of spoiling the movie for anyone, but suffice it to say, I didn't think it was possible to make an intelligent hero film. I was very, very wrong.

And of course, the hype around the late Heath Ledger's performance is deserved (and dare I say, Oscar worthy?). I'm not familiar with any of Ledger's past work, and yet I was still very impressed with his performance, particularly the mannerisms he cultivated for the Joker--the frequent adjustment of the Joker's greasy, green locks, the slurring of speech brought on by cheeks slashed into a French smile and of course, the maniacal laughter.

In fact, Ledger's performance is so definitive, I'm not sure where the Batman series will go from here. I don't think anyone else could possibly play the Joker.

Of course, we might be out a Batman too, given Christian Bale's arrest, reported this morning by the BBC.

If you haven't seen it already, I strongly encourage that you run, don't walk to the nearest movie theater. I'm already thinking about when I can see "The Dark Knight" again.

Farewell, Radio

2008-07-20T13:27:00.003-04:00

I finally broke down yesterday and made a down payment on an iPod adapter for my car. This decision was primarily the result of arriving at the irreversible conclusion that radio completely sucks and is far beyond the limits of redemption.

I'm not sure when radio began to suck, but it seems like it's sucked the entirety of my life. I'm guessing radio went wrong sometime long before I was born in 1986.

I've programmed several stations into my car radio, including WNYC (the New York-based NPR affiliate), WHYY (the Philadelphia-based NPR affiliate that serves eastern Pennsylvania, Deleware and New Jersey), K-Rock, Q104.3 and some God awful Philadelphia version of K-Rock.

Of these four stations, the only good ones are the two NPR affiliates. I love public radio. Yes, I am pretensious. I'm OK with this. I really can't stand any of the others.

On any given work day, you can hear the same Led Zeppelin, ACDC, Nirvana and Pearl Jam songs cycled throughout these radio stations. Of course, with K-Rock, you get a sprinkling of vapid Nickelback immitators, too.

There is more to classic rock than Led Zeppelin and ACDC. It would be wonderful if one of these stations would come to that realization. I'd love to hear some Cream, Bob Dylan or George Harrison once in a while. The Boss gets old. So do "Highway to Hell," "Stairway" and "Lithium."

I suppose radio's suckiness can be attributed to whatever marketing demands broadcast media is confronted with--something like, Studies show that people are more likely to continue listening with they hear ACDC x ammount of times a day.

K-Rock recently came back from a hiatus and claimed to have reinvented itself. Honestly, I see nothing different in the new K-Rock from the old, with the exception that they play more classic rock and have a DJ with a Brittish accent. I still have to change the station twice a day when "Insane in the Brain" comes on.

For these reasons, I am done with radio. I'll be listening to all of my favorite NPR shows via streaming audio or Pod cast.

But perhaps you can change my mind. What radio stations do you listen to? Is there anything decent out there on the airwaves? Let me know.

China Curtails Politically Motivated Music

2008-07-18T18:29:00.004-04:00

Apparently, the tactics of fear work both ways. Rolling Stone reports that China has banned future musical performances by artists deemed "threatening" to the country's ideals.

The ban will also fall on artists who “threaten national unity”, “whip up ethnic hatred”, “violate religious policy or cultural norms” or “advocate obscenity or feudalism and superstition.”

This is a subject I've written about in the past. The headline selected by my former editor for that article is somewhat ironic. Apparently, China can and will control artists in hopes of preventing occurrences similar to Bjork's outburst of "Tibet! Tibet!" prior to playing the song, "Declare Independence" in early March.

Rolling Stone reports that artists will now have to clear set lists ahead of performances, including encores. As the magazine suggests, the coincidence of this decision with the upcoming Olympics is somewhat expected.

Interestingly enough, a recent NPR broadcast reveals that the Chinese do not have many qualms with this type of censorship. Many of the Chinese citizens interviewed in the segment said "The Great Firewall of China" and other historical censorship attempts are all part of the country's evolution as a world power.

The broadcast also revealed that China has adopted a kinder, gentler form of censorhip. No longer do outspoken government critics vanish in the night. Bloggers, however, will often have their blogs taken down or will mysteriously lose Internet connectivity for extended periods of time.

I tend to think that yes, the western news media probably does tend to blow issues like this out of proportion. I also see the improvments that have occured in China and tend to think that the country will become increasingly lax in its censorship as it continues to develop. I do think, however, that censoring musical expression is unacceptable.

History demonstrates the political power of song. The civil rights movement found strength in songs like "We Shall Overcome." Mining and other industrialized unions crafted songs of protest to lend clout to their causes--songs that were adopted by many American folk singers in the early 1960s for the civil rights and anti-Vietnam movements.

For the most part, I can't stand pollitical songs. But I see their value and I see their potential. Often, this is the most memorable and effective way to get a message across--something that the Chinese government obviously recognizes as cause for concern.

Keith Richards: An Advocate for Rehab?

2008-07-16T15:44:00.005-04:00

Rolling Stone reports that Rolling Stones (band) guitarist Ronnie Wood has checked himself into rehab for a drinking problem. OK--not so surprising, but it gets better.

Keith Richards has taken issue with Wood's past drug use.

...one time, his drug use was so bad that Keith Richards (of all people) had to persuade Wood to get sober, sometimes using a knife or gun.

Oh the sweet, sweet irony.

Spoon's Toe-Tapping Ingredients: Rhythm and Soul

2008-07-16T11:20:00.004-04:00

Just a small clip of the Spoon concert in Prospect Park, Brooklyn. Pardon the video quality, but the audio is pretty good.

Based on last night's performance, Spoon seems to be a band that is highly attuned to its own identity. Pretense falls aside under the whithering onslaught of gyrating guitar, bass and drums, mixed with melodic piano accents. They are a rock band, and an excellent one to boot.

Pretense seems to be a common malady throughout the indie rock genre. The title of Spoon's latest record, "Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga," seems to hold a mirror to the widespread affliction. The antidote to this corrupting disease?--Rhythm-infused, toe-tapping numbers like "You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb" (see video), "The Two Sides of Monsieur Valentine" and of course, "Rhythm & Soul." As you can probably see from the video , it was pretty difficult to hold still.

What impressed me most about the band's performance was frontman Britt Daniel's guitar playing. He knows when not to play--a characteristic most rock guitarists lack. His jackhammering style of rhythm guitar often takes the back seat to the enthused clamoring of the rhythm section.

He is also a very talented showman--collapsing to his knees, riding out the emotional peeks and valleys of each of the band's tunes.

The beautiful July evening, coupled with the laid back atmosphere of the Prospect Park Bandshell, made for a highly enjoyable listening experience. This was truly a summer concert at its best.

Waiting for Spoon, and Godot, Too

2008-07-15T09:38:00.005-04:00

Tonight, I'll be seeing Spoon perform at the Prospect Park Bandshell in Brooklyn, N.Y. I'll post a more detailed review tomorrow complete with photos and (possibly) video.

I've attended the Celebrate Brooklyn concert series twice over the past three years. I saw Ben Folds, Rufus Wainwright and Ben Lee there in 2005. I was also there for Broken Social Scene and The Hidden Cameras in 2006. The weather has always been idyllic (as it is today) and the concerts have always been incredible.

I ranked Spoon's latest release, "Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga," as one of the best records of 2007 and I can't wait to hear some of it's beautifully direct, rhythm-driven songs performed live.

I'm concerned that since I'm a relatively new Spoon fan, I won't recognize or appreciate the band's earlier work. I'm sure that the performance will be topnotch though, since Spoon has been playing together since 1994.

White Rabbits will open the show.

In other news, The New York Times reported this morning that Samuel Beckett's "Waiting for Godot" will be appearing on Broadway in 2009. Finally, something worth seeing on Broadway.

When Beer Titans Combine

2008-07-14T10:44:00.004-04:00

I was delighted to read a morning report by the BBC that said Anheuser-Busch has finally agreed to a takeover by the European beer giant, Belgium-based InBev. It made me want to reach for a Stella Artois, but it's still a bit early for that.

Many Americans have been up-in-arms regarding foreign ownership of the King of Beers. Personally, I think this is a cause for celebration for two reasons.

InBev owns and markets a number of my favorite beers, including Stella Artois. I'm willing to bet that this new partnership will make imported InBev beers cheaper in the United States--a self-proclaimed beer snob's dream.

For the second reason, one only needs to look at the sucess of imported beers in the United States. Corona, Guiness and Becks are all very popular imported beers. In their respective countries of origin, these quality brews are all affordably priced. Sell them out of country--like in the States--and consumers pay premium prices on these imports.

Premium pricing works both ways. On a trip through Italy in 2001, I remember paying a ridiculous price for a Budweiser. Thanks to widespread global marketing that is sure to follow InBev's takeover and premium import pricing, Budweiser will likely become a profitable, hot commodity throughout the world.

Take heart, Budweiser fans. The world will soon share in your undying loyalty to the King of Beers.

Death-Dealing Animals

2008-07-13T16:11:00.005-04:00

Just an observation of hypocrisy. This morning, CNN reported the arrest of snake-handling pastor Gregory James Coots. Coots preached at the Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus Name in Middlesboro, Kentucky. He was arrested on charges of sale and distribution of poisonous snakes.

Snake handling is a fairly uncommon practice of religious devotion that takes place among some small evangelical Appalachian churches, CNN said.

This is a subject that James Covington, a literary journalist, wrote about at length.

CNN also said that snake handling "is illegal in most states including Kentucky."

Meanwhile, a few thousand miles eastward, the Associated Press reported more injuries during the Running of the Bulls as part of the celebration of San Fermin in Pamplona, Spain.

Apparently, running with bulls is acceptable. Handle some snakes, now you're pushing it. Regardless, you won't catch me doing either any time soon.

Snow Energized Stagnant U.S. Politics

2008-07-12T12:37:00.007-04:00

I was shocked this morning when I checked my RSS feed and discovered Tony Snow's death. Shock quickly turned into a series of complicated thoughts and emotions. I have a tremendous amount of respect for Snow, and I feel that this might be unbecoming of someone of my intended profession.

Elaboration requires a bit of confession. Before I begin, it is not my intention to undermine the passing of Snow. A full disclosure of my political history, however, is required for the interest of objectivity.

During my freshman and sophomore years at The College of New Jersey, I was a member of the campus chapter of College Republicans. My sophomore year, I first served the organization as treasurer. After our chairman's resignation, I moved up to the vice chair position, working under the new chairman, Terence Grado, my high school friend and current chairman of the N.J. College Republicans.

My former conservative activism was a product of my small-town upbringing (My congressman has one of the most conservative voting records in the House), growing up in a conservative household and naivety of youth (Not to suggest that conservatives are naive, I just happened to be). My father continues to work actively for various local and national political campaigns and wrote a local political column.

And so, 20 years of conservatism brought brought me to CPAC in 2007. At the time, I had just switched my major from history to journalism and was beginning to feel the ebbing of my right-wing inclinations. CPAC 2007 only confirmed my suspicions that I was no longer a Republican.

During the conference, I suffered through an uninspired speech by Rudy Guliani (Think "9.11, 9.11, 9.11"), pissing and moaning about John McCain's absence and constant bombardment from bloggers (my how things have changed). I did, however, enjoy Tony Snow's speech.

I was really taken aback by something my girlfriend said to me yesterday. She was doing some research for her job and came across one university that has a club with more than 50 members, called "Dunder Mifflin." The club meets weekly to watch episodes of "The Office."

At the same university, the College Republicans had four members, and the College Democrats six.

You can see where the priorities of college-age men and women are. And in the upcoming presidential election, the B.S. non-issues are likely to dominate: Who looks better on camera? Who looks "more presidential?" Whose wife would make a better first lady?

American republican democracy has become a joke unto its former self. I'd like to recommend a better classification: American celebrity democracy.

At CPAC 2007, I was convinced of these things. Snow was one of the few to stand to prove me wrong. His speech was energizing and captivating. His presence quite literally dominated the room. And from all of the media accounts of his death that I've read, it seems that this impression was similar for any other White House correspondent that ever worked under him.

Regardless of his politics, I tend to believe that more people like Snow could reinvigorate the American political system. Truly, the United States has lost a good man. My friend and CPAC 2007 attendee U.S. Army second lieutenant S. Lee Whitesell II agreed.

"He was an incredibly decent man, a highly gifted public speaker, an accomplished journalist, spiritual apparently," Whitesell said. "Kind of a role model, really."

No matter where your political allegiance falls, there are lessons to be learned from Snow's life and work.

Iconic iPhone Crashes out of the Box

2008-07-11T15:27:00.006-04:00

Never have I experienced both pity and envy at the same time. I suppose there's a first time for everything. Today, Apple released its latest version of the iPhone--boasting faster Internet access, GPS navigation and most importantly, a lower price.

I know of at least one friend who waited in line at a local Apple store this morning, and I envy him for his latest purchase. Pity comes into play as the result of this revelation made by CNN around ten a.m.

A spokesman for AT&T, the exclusive carrier for the
iPhone in the U.S., said there was a global problem with Apple's iTunes servers
that prevented the phones from being fully activated in-store, as had been
planned.

I was suprised that Apple, a company known for superior customer service, would send its customers back home to connect their new iPhones to their computers in order to correct the problem. If you're camping out overnight to get a hold of one of these, you probably want it to work correctly out of the box.

Apple also managed to caputre my attention today because of this. I'm sorry, Steve Jobs, try as you might, Apple will always belong to The Beatles. This just proves that the interest in the iPod (espeically the new iPhone) has very little to do with functionality and everything to do with its iconic status.

This, of course, doesn't change the fact that I still want one.

Manipulated Photos Costly in Run Up to Possible War with Iran

2008-07-10T11:00:00.004-04:00

If you've been paying attention to the news lately, you probably can't help but notice the amount of coverage Iran's missile testing has been getting. I think the coverage is certainly justifiable since this is some truly terrifying stuff.

It seems that our current administration and its possible successors have been itching for war with Iran for some time now, the results of which, according to former UN weapons inspector to Iraq, Scott Ritter, would be a disaster.

In my humble opinion, the war on terror has been as much a war of hearts and minds as it has been war in the traditional sense. If this is the case, then the value of images in this war can't be underestimated.

This morning, The New York Times' Lede Blog reported that images of Iran's most recent launch could be the products of Photoshop. A photo from Sepah News shows four missiles. A similar image from the AP shows three.

This illustrates two problems that the media face: acceptance of government-sponsored news items/information and widespread photo manipulation. The first problem is somewhat self evident. If the media is supposed to be serve a watchdog role on government, then it shouldn't be taking information--particularly loaded images such as this--at face value.

The second problem is more difficult for news gatherers to address. Under close scrutiny and through the help of The Times' graphic, the manipulation is obvious. This may not be so obvious to someone who is unfamiliar with digital image manipulation--i.e. the majority of people working at traditional news outlets, such as newspapers.

My concern is that the traditional news gathering model--one that newspapers have been reluctant to give up--does not adequately address problems such as this.

Thankfully, scientists like Hany Farid are working diligently to address this issue. Regardless, with widespread use of digital image software, the media is likely to face more problems such as this. Unfortunately, in the run up to a potential war with Iran, such compelling images could raise the likelihood of armed conflict even higher.

Apprehension over Oberst's Mystic Valley Band

2008-07-09T20:56:00.004-04:00

Conor Oberst is at it again, it seems--this time without his steadfast backing band, Bright Eyes. His newly created Web site is streaming fresh tracks cut in a supposedly supernatural Mexican valley.

According to the Web site, Oberst holed up in Tepoztlán, Morales, Mexico and created a "temporary" studio.

...Conor and a tight-knit group of fellow musicians, who aptly call themselves The Mystic Valley Band, crafted a lush and beautiful record that evokes the deep sense of harmony in which they lived and worked during that month.

I've written about Oberst and Bright Eyes in the past, and I've even gone as far as to call him the Bob Dylan of my generation, but now I have some reservations. I'm not sure I see any greater artistic vision in this endeavor. I mean, who wouldn't want to have a one-month Mexican getaway. I fail to see how a change of setting will produce anything different.

Besides, what Oberst has done isn't anything new or innovative. I would argue that self-imposed musical exile was pioneered by Bob Dylan during the 1967 recording of The Basement Tapes. Oberst hasn't reinvented the wheel here. In fact, he hasn't even reinvented himself.

After a friend directed me to Oberst's new tracks, he immediately commented the lack of the Bright Eyes label. He said, "Why call the band something else if you're going to write the same stuff."

From the two tracks that are streaming from his Web site, it is apparent that Oberst isn't exactly exploring new musical territory. Certainly, the tones he's experimenting with are even more unrefined and brash than those of Cassadaga, hearkening back to the days of Lifted.

Of course, it's impossible to judge the entire record from two rough, likely un-mastered tracks. We'll just have to wait until August to see for ourselves. In the mean time, I'll keep my fingers crossed that The Mystic Valley Band isn't just a tequila-loving, sloppier version of Bright Eyes.

'...Never create anything.'

2008-07-08T11:59:00.004-04:00

"It will be misinterpreted. It will chain you and follow you for the rest of your life."

Welcome to my blog. It will serve as an attempt at making sense of the seemingly nonsensical world we live in, in general terms.

It is my intention to serve you, loyal reader, and to help you navigate through the chaos of your day-to-day life. Check back daily for notes from the fringe--glimpses of art an insight plucked from the maelstrom.

And remember, elephants can paint.